The Fall season runs from September 21 to December 21. You may have already heard that weeping, crying, sadness, and grief are “Fall emotions”and affect the Lungs and Large Intestine (see Fall Qigong blog). This is where we store this intense, pent-up emotion. As we learned, the Lungs are responsible for letting go and taking in the new. Unfortunately, unless we are able to let it go, grief can cause damage to your respiratory system, resulting in illnesses such as coughs, colds, asthma, or even pulmonary fibrosis. Because meridians are connected to organs, you may even develop skin and nose issues.
When they hear the word “grief”, most people think of the death of a loved one, family member, friend, pet, etc. They are many other types of grief. Each one of them just as real and painful as others. Some examples: grief of a job loss, estrangement in a family, financial or personal independence, an important relationship, loss of health, isolation, and loneliness, etc. No one can judge the depth of another person’s grief. Everyone works through grief differently and the path is unique to that person.
So what is grief? Grief is considered extreme sadness and/or distress. The impactful emotions (sadness and grief) govern a large portion of our lives. While some escape grief/sadness, others take a long time to deal with it. It may depend on both the person, circumstances, and other variables.Most humans are governed by a multitude of emotions, both positive and negative. Grief is a natural process and response to loss, unless we hold on to the grief. When we don’t let grief go, it can become destructive and will have a detrimental impact on the Lungs, as well as our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
Stress is a by-product of grief. Denying or keeping feelings of grief causes stress and makes us very vulnerable.From the perspective of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), it’s never healthy to bottle up any emotions. Unfortunately, the older we get (men and women alike), the less emotion we show. We tend to keep our grief bottled up, store it in our body, and don’t allow it to leave. The result is Qi stagnation in the Lungs and Large Intestine which can lead to illness and other problems within our body.
When grieving, it is easy to get stuck by constantly living in the past or future. Your thoughts are flooded with past memories, what might have been, how you wish it could be different, etc. Try as you might, you can’t always control the endless, random thoughts which hijack your brain and exhaust you. This is an example of “monkey mind”. Monkey mind can keep you awake at night and cause anxiety and grief during the day. It can be overwhelming.
What about putting on a brave front? Very common but far from a healthy way of coping. Emotions need to be felt and expressed in a healthy way. Unfortunately, in our hurry and multi-tasking world, we try to find that instant formula, cure, or panacea to relieve our grief. In other words, we want a quick fix! Bottom line: it takes time and can’t be rushed!
OK, Got it, but how can we move forward?
When one is grieving, slow practices (Tai Chi, Qigong, meditation, and Yoga) are calming and serene. These mind-body exercises require slow breathing stillness, and awareness, which calms your nervous system. You need to be “still” in order to feel the emotions and to regain your emotional balance. Tai Chi and Qigong promote a feeling a sense of peace, balance, tranquility, and strength.
There are many exercises that can help. A couple of very effective ones are: “Grounding”, “Dropping the Anchor”, Tibetan Buddhist “Seven Points of Posture”, “Just Sit” meditation, just to name a few. You can actually become overwhelmed with the variety available on the internet and YouTube today. Some are free and some are quite expensive. Choose wisely. You may want to start with the free ones first to determine if they fit for you.
Let’s look at two practices that quite similar - “Grounding” and “Dropping the Anchor”. Both can be done sitting or standing, done anywhere, and alone or with an instructor or a knowledgeable therapist.
Relax your feet, now move the relaxation upward through the knees, pelvis, etc. up to the top of your head.
Release your muscles, tendons, connective tissue and joints, in order to relax your central nervous system, your mind, and de-stress.
Next we use our five senses (No judgment - nothing is good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant), just notice.:
Notice any sounds you hear,
Now notice any smells you become aware of,
What do you see?
Do you taste anything?,
What do you feel (can touch something nearby, your clothes, or a part of your body).
Some non-exercise solutions that may help get you through the grief include:
Venting with a friend, in a journal, or in a diary. Cry when you feel the need.
Deep, abdominal breathing (even better if it is outside on a lovely day)
Options: a support group, a hobby, talking to a professional.
Rereading the Fall Qigong blog and letting go of all the “garbage”.
Dry Crying is a technique that helps manage grief and eliminate stored up emotions.
Qigong and Tai Chi involve the breath, the mind, and slow easy movements which promote and produce free flowing energy (Qi) and blood in the body. Either exercise helps rebalance your mental, emotional, and even physical health. It is often considered a moving mediation. You can do it alone or with a group if you prefer. Totally up to your comfort level.
The Lung meridian (thumb) and the Large Intestine meridian (first/index finger) are Fall meridians. By touching the end of the thumb and first finger you create a circuit between the two meridians. This circuit opens the upper respiratory tract which allows the Qi of the Lung and Large Intestine to circulate and eliminate any blockages and/or stagnation. Try taking slow, deep breaths and relaxing your mind, as you let go.
Tai Chi and/or Qigong classes are a great way to work through your grief. If you find in-person classes too daunting, try videos first. There are some excellent videos available. Here are a couple you may want to try:
(https://drkimderamo.com/chi-gong-release-grief-despair-healing/), several by Dr. Jesse Tsao (https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=jesse+tsao+qigong), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRgj-u1oVWk, Dr.Russ Harris - Drop the Anchor https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpPDP_f-TS8
Try these or search on your own for one or more that resonate with you!
It is important to try several different ways of letting go of the grief before it does you irreversible harm. I know it’s hard to take that first step and/or to be consistent once you do. I hate quoting slogans (but here goes) “Just do it”.
Whatever you do, don’t let grief hijack your mind and your happiness!
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